Reflections on Blue Like Jazz

I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller. I recommend it to anyone-- both Christians and non-Christians. I was struck by the beginning of Chapter 10. Miller says that he no longer struggles intellectually to believe in Christ. "Sooner or Later you just figure out there are some guys who don't believe in God and they can prove He doesn't exist, and some guys who do believe in God and they can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now it's about who's smarter, and honestly I don't care."

This reminds me of a conversation I had with Ron today. We talked about why we have faith in Christ. We've heard arguments against putting faith in Christ, but we both keep coming back to it. We agreed that nothing else offers anything better. No philosophy or other religion gives me meaning. I cannot prove God exists. Nor can anyone prove that God doesn't exist. But I choose to put faith in Christ because it gives my life meaning. If the world really has no meaning, (and I don't accept that argument) then you could say that I'm delusional. But I choose to live for a purpose. I'd rather live for God than for myself or some high Ideals without a God. I believe in love and justice as real things not just abstract ideas. I believe they must come from God, and I feel God's love through the story of Christ. I cannot reconcile the suffering in the world with a God who says He loves me unless I believe in the crucifixion. If God did not spare His own son from suffering, then He must love us, and if we want to be more like God than we must embrace suffering. This makes sense to me, but it also doesn't. I don't know why we must suffer or why Jesus had to suffer. I don't know why God decided to create a world that includes evil and pain. But I know suffering is real and a God who suffers is more real to me than any other deity or idea could be.

Wrong Day

This  post was written my senior year of college at Baylor University:

I was prepared for an interview today. I wore my dad's three-piece gray and blue suit to look the part of a sophisticated applicant. I also borrowed a nice blue tie from Eric to complete the ensemble. I found a ride to Robinson Tower with Mark, and he prayed for me before I went inside. I was ready to knock the socks of a recruiter for University Directories. I hit the elevator button for the second floor thinking I was right on time and looking sharp. But I was in for a shock. When I got out and walked down the hall to the interview suite no one was there. I walked down the hallway in the other direction. Maybe it was down the hall. No one there. Panic struck me. What if it was in the Ferrell Center? If it was, there was no way I could make it there on time now. Was it tomorrow? I wanted to believe I had showed up a whole day early, but I usually expect the worst. I thought I better make the best of the situation and go to the career fair either way. I walked back over wet streets in my blue suit feeling down and embarrassed. I tried not to think about how conspicuous I was. Then my Aunt Linda drove by while I was crossing the road. I don't think she saw me. I looked like a fool. I caught the bus to the Ferrell Center, and I found the booth for University Directories and introduced myself. The recruiter didn't seem upset. I decided to confirm the interview. I said, "I'll see you tomorrow at Robinson Tower." She said, "Yeah. I'll see you there." Inwardly I was saying, "Yes!"

Am I Like Jonah?

As some of you know I attend Church Under the Bridge. This Sunday I heard a challenging sermon. The pastor talked about the story of Jonah and God's calling. He made a point that I had not heard before. He said that most of the time we are like Jonah in that we know what God wants us to do. If you're not Christian you still can have a sense of something you should do. The point is, we often don't do it. We don't want to. It boils down to a choice. Jonah did not want to preach to Ninevah. He knew they might repent and be spared from God's wrath. I started to think about what I know God wants me to do. I feel called to to go to another country to do the Lord's work. I have had a strong interest for a long time, but I haven't gone. I haven't even tried to go with any group. Why not?

Do I Look Like a Hippy?

Note: This is a post from when I was a senior at Baylor University. I looked a lot different then. I had a goatee and long hair.

Here is a conversation I had with Kyrian recently. You don't ever know when to believe what Kyrian says. He's never serious, but you know the saying, "Every joke has a hint of truth."

K: “You are a hippy dude.”
Me: “No! I’m not!”
K: “You are whether you know it or not.”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
K: “You’ve got the hippy hair and the attitude. And it looks like you’re not afraid of anything, which is awesome. And you’re just so happy and carefree.”
Me: “Just because I’m from Austin doesn’t make me a hippy. I’m religiously conservative. I eat meat. I don’t smoke pot.”
K: “You don’t! Man, I thought you did! You look like a pot smoker. The only difference is your eyes aren’t red.”
Me: “Okay. No one’s ever told me that before.”
K: “Hey doesn’t he look like he does drugs?”
Another guy: “Yeah. Nothing personal. But you do.”
K: “But he’s a God freak like you are.”
Another guy: “It’s the hair man.”