Thanks Rilke

This post was written during my senior year of college at Baylor University:

Packing books into boxes made me reflect on what I’ve learned in college. I packed wonderful books like Letters to a Young Poet, Night, A Lesson Before Dying, The Brothers Karamazov, and The Poisonwood Bible. Next to them, I packed a different type of classic literature- my favorite comic books: Daredevil: The Man Without Fear, The Adventures of Superman, and Calvin and Hobbes (to name a few). I’ve crammed a lot of knowledge into my brain over these four years.

“You’ve really received a good education here,” my mom said. “You’ve been exposed to many different kinds of books that I don’t think you would have seen anywhere else.” I have to agree.

I thought about some of the great things that I’ve learned from books that I’ve read. One thing stood out to me. As a young person who still has many questions about the world, I was comforted by the advice of Rainer Maria Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet. FYI: He is a famous German poet.
I need to thank Dr. Tatum and Dr. McGlashan for assigning Rilke in my BIC Capstone class.

Rilke wrote:

“I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Today I am striving to live the questions. What will I do after graduation? Why does God not make sense? Why do the righteous suffer and the wicked prosper? Why does this world seem so messed up? What can I do to make a difference? What is my highest obligation? Why do I always procrastinate? How many teeth does a goat have? Okay I’m not really asking that one. The point is I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I will bring them before God in prayer. By trying to live the questions, I hope to achieve some answers.

(Originally published on 4/24/2004)

(Minor edits on 5/20/2024)

Wrong Day

This  post was written my senior year of college at Baylor University:

I was prepared for an interview today. I wore my dad's three-piece gray and blue suit to look the part of a sophisticated applicant. I also borrowed a nice blue tie from Eric to complete the ensemble. I found a ride to Robinson Tower with Mark, and he prayed for me before I went inside. I was ready to knock the socks of a recruiter for University Directories. I hit the elevator button for the second floor thinking I was right on time and looking sharp. But I was in for a shock. When I got out and walked down the hall to the interview suite no one was there. I walked down the hallway in the other direction. Maybe it was down the hall. No one there. Panic struck me. What if it was in the Ferrell Center? If it was, there was no way I could make it there on time now. Was it tomorrow? I wanted to believe I had showed up a whole day early, but I usually expect the worst. I thought I better make the best of the situation and go to the career fair either way. I walked back over wet streets in my blue suit feeling down and embarrassed. I tried not to think about how conspicuous I was. Then my Aunt Linda drove by while I was crossing the road. I don't think she saw me. I looked like a fool. I caught the bus to the Ferrell Center, and I found the booth for University Directories and introduced myself. The recruiter didn't seem upset. I decided to confirm the interview. I said, "I'll see you tomorrow at Robinson Tower." She said, "Yeah. I'll see you there." Inwardly I was saying, "Yes!"

Do I Look Like a Hippy?

Note: This is a post from when I was a senior at Baylor University. I looked a lot different then. I had a goatee and long hair.

Here is a conversation I had with Kyrian recently. You don't ever know when to believe what Kyrian says. He's never serious, but you know the saying, "Every joke has a hint of truth."

K: “You are a hippy dude.”
Me: “No! I’m not!”
K: “You are whether you know it or not.”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
K: “You’ve got the hippy hair and the attitude. And it looks like you’re not afraid of anything, which is awesome. And you’re just so happy and carefree.”
Me: “Just because I’m from Austin doesn’t make me a hippy. I’m religiously conservative. I eat meat. I don’t smoke pot.”
K: “You don’t! Man, I thought you did! You look like a pot smoker. The only difference is your eyes aren’t red.”
Me: “Okay. No one’s ever told me that before.”
K: “Hey doesn’t he look like he does drugs?”
Another guy: “Yeah. Nothing personal. But you do.”
K: “But he’s a God freak like you are.”
Another guy: “It’s the hair man.”